


let me follow

by junxouji



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Breaking Up & Making Up, Drunk Sex, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Manipulation, Exes, M/M, Mild Painplay, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Rough Sex, Unresolved Emotional Tension
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-12
Updated: 2020-03-12
Packaged: 2021-02-28 21:14:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,677
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23113774
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/junxouji/pseuds/junxouji
Summary: If you need to, you can break me too.
Relationships: Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun/Lee Taeyong
Comments: 3
Kudos: 37





	let me follow

**Author's Note:**

> This is messy and written on late night whims. I know how unrealistic this setting is but just indulge me, folks.

_ you can break throw yourself away _

_ leave it behind _

_ we come, undone _

_ and if you need to, you can break me too _

_ you can disappear _

_ please just take me with you. _

\-- let me follow, son lux

  
  


The frightened look of horror that crosses Taeyong’s face is not surprising but it does anger Jaehyun more than expected. In truth, he was aware that one day this would happen. It was  _ evitable _ , wasn’t it? They had the same circle of friends, the same spots they all liked to gather, and well-- Seoul didn’t seem that large when you were avoiding the person who ripped your fucking heart out.

It turns Jaehyun’s stomach upside down to see how Taeyong’s charming smile downturns and he closes in on himself as soon as he makes eye contact with him. His fluttery nervousness is so fucking obvious as he nearly knocks over the shot glass he had in front of him. His gaze, those soft brown doe eyes, immediately find themselves glued to the table. Jaehyun swallows but doesn’t back down. After all, he hadn’t been the one to break Taeyong’s heart. It was the other way around.

The BBQ restaurant is one that is popular among their friends. It’s why Mark and Johnny insisted they go there. He knows his friends had no clue Taeyong would also be there. They wouldn’t have put him in such an uncomfortable position if they had. They all knew how  _ messed _ up Taeyong had left him. They probably hated him more than Jaehyun could ever manage. But they were his best friends and obligated to hate the person who had hurt him.

Taeyong isn’t alone. Doyoung, Yuta, and another male Jaehyun doesn’t know as well but knows by face--Jungwoo-- all sit at the table as well. It’s awkward because they’re friends with Yuta and Doyoung, it would be  _ weird  _ if they didn’t join them. Apparently, Doyoung thinks so too because he’s waving them over already making room at their table for three more. Jaehyun knows if he leaves it’ll only make things awkward for his friends so he squared his shoulders and leads the way before Mark’s questioning gaze if he’s  _ okay with this _ can be verbalized.

Yuta has always been loud and outspoken. Doyoung not very far behind him. They’re slapping and hugging Mark and Johnny before settling their more reserved smiles on him. 

“Hey Jae, long time no see.” Yuta says as he clasps his shoulder in a bro-fashion, “How was Chicago? Did Johnny show you two a good time in America?”

Jaehyun finds himself nodding, “It was fun.” He says simply as Mark animatedly takes over explaining the entire adventure they had while visiting the States with Johnny. They’re sliding into their seats talking away the tension that had overcome the table. The only person who seemed unaffected was Jungwoo who introduces himself,

“Hey! It’s nice to meet you all. I heard a lot. I am Jungwoo. I transferred to the university not too long ago.”

He had a nice smile, bright clear eyes, and an air of naivety about him. Jaehyun offers a smile. “It’s nice to meet you. I am Jaehyun, this is Mark, and that’s Johnny. We’re on the same rugby team as Yuta.”

“Hopefully you all play  _ better _ than Yuta.” Jungwoo teases with a small bird laughter as Yuta raises to the defenses cheeks already pink from the amount of soju he’s consumed.

Jaehyun takes the moment of chaos as Yuta adamantly defends himself to steal a glance at Taeyong who hasn’t looked up from the table. “Hi hyung.” Jaehyun breaks free, “You look  _ well _ .”

Startled, confused, and uncertain. The emotions vividly paint across Taeyong’s beautiful face as he looks like. Shy as always, skittish and almost like he’s ready to run. Some things  _ never _ change. Under his delicate lashes those expression dark eyes peer back at him. What Jaehyun sees is not the man who he fell in love with but the man who had single handedly ruined his life. It  _ burns _ with irony how  **gorgeous** Taeyong can look after causing so much ugly in this life. How could he remain so unblemished? 

“Hello, Jaehyun. You had fun in Chicago right?” Taeyong says unsteady, voice unstable but just as sweet as he remembers. “It’s been a while.”

It’s been awhile  _ indeed _ . The last time they spoke Jaehyun had been crying, pleading, and begging Taeyong to reconsider. Taeyong without a glance back had left. His lips curve upwards cruelly. Taeyong knew how to hurt him even now.

“Yo, man. Like Johnny showed us how to surf when we went to LA. It was wild. I wish you all could have come. Jaehyun knocked the waves though.” Mark interrupted in good timing as the table’s attention circled to his friend.

“Listen, you were drinking ocean water too.” Johnny chuckles as Yuta’s laughter rings the loudest. Jaehyun turns his attention back to his friends. That was enough time to allot to the person he had trouble forgetting in the first place. Jaehyun’s fingers drummed the table.

“Do you think you can show me sometime?” Jungwoo is asking but his gaze is directed towards Jaehyun. Jaehyun flushes because he knows what  _ that _ look is. Perhaps his reputation proceeds him? However, it’s naive Mark that answers:

“Totally! We’re basically pros now.”

  
  
  
  
  
  


Jaehyun’s drunk. It was impossible not to be when  **he** had been in reach the entire night. Taeyong refused to even look at him most of the time settling on quietly sipping his soju to himself. No one seemed to notice or care after a while about the tension between the two.

It’s when he stumbles up some, everyone peers over him just as equally as drunk. Jaehyun sheepishly offers a smile, “I have to get up early.  _ Work _ .” Jaehyun already regrets the early shift he agreed to take to the coffee shop near the university. But he had moved out of his parents’ home and now rent was due. He couldn’t afford to sleep in because he was out too long. “Just continue. I’ll message you when I get home.”

He’s turning to hear a soft voice say, “I should be going too. See you all again--”

He doesn’t turn until a body is walking alongside him as they wake their way out after paying for their portion of the alcohol and food.  _ Jungwoo _ . Which is surprising because he knows him least and not sure why he would feel the need to follow him out.

“It’s cold.” Jungwoo shivers as he hugs his jacket closer to himself. His dark hair catches the city lights all too well. It hangs loosely in front of his face as his nose pinkens from the bite of the cold. “Yuta mentioned you working at the uni’s cafe? I guess I will have to start drinking some Americanos now. I knew they said you were good looking but they definitely do you justice.”

Jaehyun’s head jerks, brow knotting. “Wha--?”

“They might have also let slip you’re  _ gay _ so you cannot blame a guy for shooting his shot. I will be seeing you around, Jae! Have a good night.” Jungwoo smiles, also smugly. He’s waving before his back turns and he’s headed in the opposite direction before Jaehyun can object.

Jungwoo wasn’t the first person to flirt with him since Taeyong. His friends had done their best to try to make him forget his ex. However, nothing really worked. Enough time had passed that if he wanted to just have fun with Jungwoo, go on senseless dates, and enjoy himself-- that should be okay, right? He just doesn’t know if he  _ can _ . Much less, if Jungwoo knows he’s been with Taeyong…

That was another headache for another day. For now, he would just worry about getting home in one piece.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Jaehyun’s eyes blink open at the right red  **3:02 AM** blinking back at him when he hears the repetitive ding of his doorbell. He curses under his breath as he pushes himself up, nearly tripping over the sheets as he moves to the door of his studio apartment. He doesn’t even look at the cctv before he’s opening the door.

Taeyong stands at his doorway. He does not hesitate to push past Jaehyun who is so taken back he does nothing to stop him. Taeyong stumbles in, legs wobbly like a newborn calf, as his gaze sweeps over the room as if he was searching for something.

“Where is  _ he _ ?” Taeyong asks.

Jaehyun must really be out of it. His brain catches up slowly, “W-who? Taeyong, what are  _ you _ doing here? At this fucking hour?”

“Jungwoo.” Taeyong sighs as if Jaehyun should already know. “Where  _ is _ he?”

Jungwoo? Did Taeyong seriously think Jungwoo would be here? And even if he was, what did it matter to Taeyong? Frustration kicks in. “Taeyong, get out.”

“No! I want to know  **where** is he?!” Taeyong says voice raising, looking very close to tears as he jabs a finger at Jaehyun’s chest, “It could be anyone. It could be anyone. But it can’t be  _ him _ .”

“Taeyong, get the fuck out of my apartment.” Jaehyun finally says, grabbing his arm, but Taeyong who is affected by both the alcohol and effects of gravity is stumbling into him.

“No.” Taeyong moans, pain audible. “Jaehyun, let me stay.”

“Have you  _ lost _ your mind?” Jaehyun snaps, patience wearing thin.

“I know you hate me and you  _ should _ but please. Let me stay. Just this once, Jaehyunnie.  _ Please _ , I don’t want to be alone.”

He doesn’t want to be alone but he is willing to bring this suffering to Jaehyun’s door? The typical selfish Taeyong striking again. But one look in those glassy dark hues has Jaehyun hating himself for caving so fucking easy.

Jaehyun isn’t certain how it happens. He merely knows Taeyong’s mouth is slotted against his. He isn’t certain who kissed who first but he does know they’re both kissing each other now. Taeyong’s mouth is just as hot and soft as he remembers. His fingers are desperate as they pull and tug at his hair, moaning pitiful apologies into his mouth, coming down quickly to his subspace.

“ _ Please _ , Jaehyunnie. I don’t deserve it but I  _ need _ it.  _ Please _ .” He’s begging. Jaehyun doesn’t know with certainty what Taeyong is begging for but he has an idea. It’s too easy to fall into bad habits. But he’s missed him, he’s been lonely, and if Taeyong wants to  _ use _ him this way why can’t he use him back in return without feeling any guilt for it?

“Pretty petal, why are you crying?” Jaehyun murmurs fingers thumbing away the pools of tears collecting in those doe-eyed hues that are wrecking Jaehyun’s sanity. This was  _ his _ Taeyong no matter how much time had passed, no matter how turburlent the waters had gotten ebtween them, no matter how much fucking space Taeyong forced between them. He knows this is the case when Taeyong shutters gently against him.

“I _want_ you, Jaehyun. _Oh_ ** _god_** I want you.” Taeyong whispers, lips trembling, already coming apart in his hands as Jaehyun pushes him backwards until Taeyong’s knees hit the end of his bed. He falls back effortlessly, propped on his elbow, eyes blown wide as he looks up expectedly.

“I know, angel, I know.”

Jaehyun climbs over him. He had always liked how smaller Taeyong was in comparison. Taeyong’s legs part too easily allowing him in between as Jaehyun plucks at his clothes impatiently. Taeyong lifts his waist trying to aid him the best he can, breath loud in his ear as Jaehyun bites Taeyong’s shoulder harshly.

“Undress.” Jaehyun murmurs.

Taeyong’s sloppier than he used to be. It probably was a side effect of the alcohol and desperation as his fingers fumble with his pants and shoes. They’re both tossed in some far corner as he unbuttons his shirt messily. Only left in his boxers in the center of Jaehyun’s bed it reminds Jaehyun of so many other times.

Taeyong whines but doesn’t stop him when he’s flipped to his stomach. Jaehyun doesn’t think he can last with those pretty eyes directed on him. Instead, he is tugging down Taeyong’s underwear exposing his pale ass to the chilly air of his apartment. Taeyong groans into his sheets when Jaehyun gives his ass a harsh slap.

“Baby, tell me how you want it.” Jaehyun manages, breathlessly.

“I-I w-want--” Taeyong whimpers as his hand comes down back against his ass, the red flash of pain making his cock throb painfully against the mattress.

“Words. Proper words, bird.”

“Your fingers.” Taeyong breathes, “Please. Your fingers. In me.”

But this was never going to be an award. “You broke up with me, Taeyong. Then you come back crawling for an orgasm? Did you have such a hard time finding someone to fuck you that you’re this desperate?”

If Taeyong wasn’t crying before he was weeping now, shaking his head shamefully into the sheets, as his hip rutted against the mattress. “No, No, n-no. Jaehyun, I only wanted  _ you _ . Your  _ cock _ . I wanted you in me.”

“You’re so fucking slutty, Yong.” Jaehyun whispers as his fingers push into Taeyong’s lower back as he reaches for his bedside table for the lube. He holds him down, disallowing him to move, as he coated his fingers thoroughly. “ _ You _ broke up with me and here you are begging for my cock.”

“Jaehyun,  _ please--please _ I can’t!”

The press and push of Jaehyun’s index finger is rough, it’s punishing, and it’s revengeful as it finds that spot it knows so well on the first try. The spongy spot that has Taeyong’s body trembling as he cries quietly pleading for more, for more, for  _ more _ as if the pain that was so tied with pleasure would erase all the hurt between them. Taeyong is wetter than he’s ever been, fucking soaking against his bed, as his hips meet each thrust of Jaehyun’s finger.

Taeyong is far more beautiful than anyone else he’s ever seen. Even if Jaehyun was  _ hurting _ and that hurt was consuming everything around him in a gaze of red because he wanted Taeyong to fucking  **hurt** he knew he was incapable of not giving him what he wanted.

Call Jaehyun a dummy. He let Taeyong, hadn’t he?

One finger becomes two as he ruthlessly scissors him, pumping those long and thick digits in and out of his yielding body, as Taeyong’s moans turned louder and more edged with purpose. Taeyong had always been able to submit his body but never his fucking  _ heart _ .

“ _ Petal _ , pretty angel,  **_sweetheart--_ ** tell me. What do you want?”

“You.  _ God _ , you Jaehyunnie. You. Only you.”

Jaehyun’s fingers are relentless and he can tell by the high pitched mewls Taeyong is letting out. He doesn’t even need his cock touched to cum. Jaehyun is already aware. Perhaps he is fueled solely by his anger and the desire to have Taeyong again no matter how much Taeyong had fucked him over. He can tell when the other orgasmed. The sound is undeniable as Taeyong cries out, body trembling and twitching under his touch, as his fingers grip those sheets so tightly as Jaehyun rides him out.

Jaehyun’s fingers slip from him and Taeyong’s glassy eyes turn towards him, face half-pressed to his pillows.

“Jaehyunnie-- I am  _ sorry _ .”

Jaehyun is already standing, wiping his hand off on his shirt, hard gaze locked on Taeyong’s. Whatever Taeyong saw in his face was enough to make the other break into more tears, quiet sobs wracking his bird thin chest. 

“You can let yourself out, Yong.” Jaehyun says as he moves to grab his keys and head out first. He doesn’t think he can be trusted to react normally, be rational, and not fucking  _ hurt _ in front the other.

It didn't matter how much he hated Lee Taeyong. He was completely weak to him as well. Everything--even his emotions--were tied to the older male. He was in all ways owned by the tragic man who had fucking crushed and smoothered the fire in his heart.


End file.
